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Don’t read this without a box of Kleenex on hand. Ok, I warned you. Now here goes: Last week my staff and I said our final goodbyes to Rufus. It was an unexpected goodbye—not the one we had planned. No adoption papers were signed. No cheering. No happy tears. None of that. Our final goodbye would leave us all sobbing.
We waited for someone to want him. We promised the Big Guy (as we called him) that someone special was coming. We packed his suitcase with hope for a better life. We tried to be patient and we waited some more. And then Rufus got sick.
At first it seemed like nothing more than a simple case of gastroenteritis—fancy medical term for puking and diarrhea all in the same day or the same moment. Out came the usual prescription: bland diet, probiotics, and a few days of rest. After three days, Rufus was eating again and poops were back to normal. No big deal—we treat 2 to 3 cases of “garbage gut” every week at the Clinic. They get better and most of the time we never discover the culprit. Food poisoning (bacteria or a toxin) or the flu (nasty virus)—we have all been there.
But then my well trained staff with their eagle eyes reported a few days later that something just wasn’t right with the Big Guy. I quickly ordered blood tests and X-rays of his abdomen. Then the shocking news: a tumor on his spleen had ruptured, causing internal bleeding. What the hell? Other than a few days of feeling punk, there were no solid clues that even a skilled medical mind could follow. No time to practice some medical magic. The cancer thief was right under my medical nose—leaving me helpless as a doctor and in panic mode: Oh God … NOT again! NOT fair! NOT my Big Guy!
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| Getting Rufus geared up for his daily hike—wearing the backpack that Cesar Millan often recommends. |
Suddenly “Dr Terifaj” and “staff” (the Big Guy’s caretakers) were gone. Transported like a beam of light from the starship Enterprise. We went from planet veterinary hospital to land of grieving pet owners. We left clients waiting in the lobby while phone calls were made to summon all our team. Everything just went haywire. It was a scene all too familiar to us. Now we—Rufus’ real family—were huddled over his limp body telling the Big Guy how much we loved him. Now it was our faces wet with tears. Flowers were the only thing missing from this impromptu funeral.
Oddly, we are going to miss our disciplined walks in the park—Rufus’ exercise schedule along with Cesar Millan’s written instructions still hang on the same refrigerator magnet. No one has the heart to take them down.
Life did not play fair for Rufus, or did it? Was he waiting for his own backyard to romp and play in or were we? Did he miss sleeping next to his master’s bed at night or did we miss that for him?
Here is what we do know for sure: He was never hungry, thirsty, or cold at night. He had humans who cared about him and over time he managed to find his own special way into all of our hearts. And not even the bravest among us can walk by his empty kennel with a dry eye.
What painful lesson did Rufus teach us? Simply this: Don’t lose sight of each precious day while planning for an uncertain tomorrow. For while we were busy making plans to find Rufus a new and better life, he was busy gathering his family around him to tell us all goodbye…
31 responses so far ↓
1 Bill Benson // Jul 16, 2008 at 9:55 am
I’m so sorry to hear about Rufus: You all have taken care of so many furry souls over the years with fearless abandon (including my Daniel). You can tell a lot about people by the way they treat animals: I am blessed to have you all in my life.
2 Debra Bonnefin // Jul 17, 2008 at 2:02 pm
My heart hurts for you. You gave him such a warm loving home and the best care he could get. Thank you for being there for him.
3 Sadie Mae (woof) // Jul 17, 2008 at 7:53 pm
I will miss playing with my friend Rufus at Doggie Daycare. He was sure a fun guy. We loved to run up and down the room together, but I always let him know I knew he was the alpha. He told me how much he loved all you guys and that he didn’t want anyone to adopt him cuz he’d miss you all like crazy. I bet he’s playing with my big brother and grandma right now- because you know all dogs go to heaven.
4 Rascals Merson // Jul 17, 2008 at 9:57 pm
I will miss him at daycare.
luv Rascal’s & Celsea
Ur da best
5 sandra terifaj // Jul 18, 2008 at 10:23 am
I wept as I read about Rufus. It is so sad to loose a member of our famly. Yet he was with the family he knew loved him and would keep him safe till the very end. What better way to exit this planet!
6 Sirena // Jul 18, 2008 at 10:31 am
I know I’m passionate about animals, especially my boy, but boy this got to me.
Sometimes we don’t always get what we want but what we need. Don’t beat yourself up, I’m sure Rufus loved being with you & your staff.
With sympathy,
Sirena
7 JanC // Jul 18, 2008 at 10:32 am
How very sad for all of you. And how very sad Rufus never found his forever home……although he obviously had a really nice family right where he was.
Rufus has found his forever home, romping in the fields with beautiful flowers & all his buds that have gone on before him.
RIP sweet Rufus…….you will be missed.
8 Jan // Jul 18, 2008 at 11:37 am
Rob & I send our deepest condolences to the entire Rufus family at Founders. As I sit here typing this message, trying to focus my eyes thru the tears, I know one thing is for sure: YOU all were Rufus’ loving family and he was meant to spend his last years with YOU. We pray that his smiling face & memories of his funny ways, bring you peace & comfort. Our love & thoughts are with you.
9 Jan // Jul 18, 2008 at 11:46 am
I just had this thought: Rufus was a diamond in the “ruff”!
10 Cindy Scott // Jul 18, 2008 at 12:05 pm
You should have warned 2 boxes of Kleenex. You all should feel great joy for the great quality of life Rufus enjoyed in your care. He did find his family – it was all of you. Don’t mourn for what could have been – rejoice in what was.
11 Anne Kruse // Jul 18, 2008 at 12:07 pm
All of you really showed up for this big guy and helped him find joy in his life. Your efforts to help him were evident when Cesar Milan got involved. I’m certain he saw in you your ability to be valiant in the face of a seemingly impossible challenge . The honor you all shared while shepherding Rufus in his life and to heaven was a gift to be cherished. Bless that boy.
12 jessica nicodemo // Jul 18, 2008 at 12:35 pm
I remember Rufus from when I was there cleaning teeth!!! He was a sweet soul and was so blessed to find you guys “his forever family”. He is so lucky to have your tears fall for him, so many dogs dont get any tears… He is at the rainbow bridge playing with all the others, tail wagging
13 Mark Schoenfeld // Jul 18, 2008 at 1:12 pm
My heartfelt condolences go out for you and your staff. Your message is one to be heeded. Not very long ago, I knew I was about to lose my 18 year old doxie to old age. On a Friday night, I felt lumps on my rescued Pit’s throat and by Saturday I knew it was lymph node cancer. He was gone in 3 weeks. My wife and I were looking forward to having Petey as our “only child” for a while. Instead we lost them both within 5 months of each other. I now have two medical problem rescues who are both fine now. Enjoy today, we never know what is in store for us tomorrow. Again, my sympathy goes out to you.
14 Jan H // Jul 18, 2008 at 5:27 pm
What a blesing that he had such a wonderful family at Founders, the greatest family of the most compassionate caring staff any dog and owner could possibly be lucky enough to know!!
As I try to type this message through my tears, I am so thankful you’ve given Rufus the love , and great life for the time he had left on earth!!!
15 Sharon // Jul 18, 2008 at 5:36 pm
May you find comfort in knowing that Rufus loved you very much and “chose” you as his family. He is smiling down on all of you for giving him hope and love.
I am truly sorry for your loss
16 Lisa Scarsi // Jul 18, 2008 at 6:58 pm
I read this and I cried, feeling so sad and maybe a little angry that Rufus’ time here was cut short. But when I had some time to think about it, I realized that Rufus taught us a few things and he was loved. That’s a pretty good legacy for anyone, canine or human.
17 Helene // Jul 18, 2008 at 9:05 pm
You are right the kleenex is gone!!. Rufus had his great family!!! All of You!!! he knows he was loved and was cared for deeply and lovingly
18 Helene // Jul 18, 2008 at 9:06 pm
You are right the kleenex is gone!!. Rufus had his great family!!! All of You!!! He knows he was loved and was cared for deeply and lovingly by all of you.
19 maxine kensic // Jul 19, 2008 at 12:10 pm
I think i’ll need to own the Kleenex company!What a wonderful family Rufus had with all of you. Love, Maxine,Sadie &Lexi Maybe he’s in a better place?
20 Kris Hanna // Jul 19, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Rufus sure was a gorgeous doggy! Thank you, Dr. Terrifaj, for helping us learn about life from your loss.
21 Bree & Kendal // Jul 20, 2008 at 3:10 pm
I am so very sorry to hear this!!! What a shock! You can take comfort in knowing that while under your care……he was loved!! And that Rufus knew that too!
Our thoughts are with you!
Bree and Kendal
22 annie // Jul 21, 2008 at 9:01 pm
It broke my heart to read about Rufus. You see I was thinking of adopting a Rottie and thought he had the most beautiful and loving face anyone could ever want. I was just too damn late. I am kicking myself for not finding him sooner, but then again what better place for a sick dog to be than with the vet? You all are true angels to keep him for so long even when others would have simply given up on him.
23 Windy O'Donnell // Jul 23, 2008 at 12:04 pm
My tears wont stop,I am crying for many reason’s,one is for Rufus leaving so soon,one for the loving care he received in your hands,one is for many dogs around the world that deserve the love Rufus had while on this earth.My prayers are with you always!!Thank you for all the love you give!
24 Allison and Michael // Jul 23, 2008 at 3:31 pm
We loved Rufus so much and we feel your pain with his loss. Even though it hurts, we are so lucky to have known him. Wrigley and Chloe loved playing with The Big Guy too. We wish we had been able to kiss him goodbye. Thank you for taking such good care of him. Allison and Michael
25 LisaMarie // Aug 12, 2008 at 1:42 pm
This news weighs very heavy- like a ton of solid Rock – the kind of Rock only Rufus may understand- it weighs heavy, pressing against my heart… I was blessed to have had the pleasure of meeting Rufus, touching him, and being in his presence, far before Cesar Milan “did his magic” on him. I’ve been screening people for loving, patient, 4ever permanent homes for Rufus ever since I met him. Today I was about to call Paula to see if he was still available- I wanted to see him. Now I’m finding he’s under the Rainbow Bridge, which I’m hoping is a part of the heaven I’ll eventually be in. I look forward to giving him a big hug someday and telling him how sorry I was that I couldn’t take him myself… I had a dog just like him- I call him my “rottie in pit bull skin.” It’s the only reason I couldn’t take Rufus home, I had adopted my own Rufus. I hope he forgives me, because I haven’t forgiven myself for not “finding a way” to take him. All I could do is try to convince rottie-lovers to give Rufus a chance, because the love these dogs return is worth every bit of effort it takes to rehab these dogs with consistently good experiences, & make them know they are safe. My sincere truest Love, Hugs, & forever kisses to this big boy, now & forever more…God speed the pain of broken hearts to Paula & her staff… LmS
26 Cyndi B. // Aug 13, 2008 at 8:36 pm
Dear Dr. Paula,
How many gooodbyes can be planned?
Rufus was where he wanted to be, your own words state that: We waited for someone to want him. We promised the Big Guy (as we called him) that someone special was coming.
He was wanted!: very much, by all of you and yes, someone special, but not who you pictured was waiting.
He was where he was supposed to be, just as Woody is.
As hokey as it sounds, the Pet Physic says: We never get “over” them, we just learn to live without them.
Your grief is mine,
Cyndi
27 Patty // Aug 14, 2008 at 2:10 am
Rufus did have a home, and a darned good one!! It may not have been a home in the traditional sense, but all of his doggy needs were more than fulfilled. Rufus was loved, well-fed, well taken care of, had great vet care, was exercised regularly, and he got to be at work all day with his family instead of waiting for his family to come home from work. What better home could a dog ask for than that!!
If you humanize it, Rufus didn’t have a home.
If you canine-ize it, Rufus had a great home.
28 Randy Ward // Aug 27, 2008 at 10:58 pm
I read this and those famlier tears came back for Ruffus,my wife and in July of last year lost our”Lana”almost the same way,sick a few days and a few days of her being lana again,after many trips to our vet(7) it was time to make the call,that last trip to the vet she sat up front with us ,so brave,so trusting….I can’t look at another
pit without thinking of the 12 years she touched our lives.a few weeks later early on a sunday morning on the next mountain over from the house we heard a yelp,and a another yelp,a little mixed pit puppy brown and really scared,lost,needing help,Someone had dumped her!
That empty spot in our heart was being filled again, those same eyes that needed us so badly
my Lana was back again,Rufus needed you and you(we) needed Rufus…..
29 Tina H. // Aug 29, 2008 at 6:48 pm
Dear Dr.T,
I am truly sorry for your loss.. having lost a dog myself in the past I know how heart breaking it can be.~! I have been following your web blog about rufus and was facinated with his transformation and story. He was truly lucky to have found you guys and have you as his family ( and im sure the other way around too!) =)
30 Elane M // Oct 14, 2008 at 12:51 pm
I saw Rufus for the first time last night on the Dog Whisperer and fell in love with him. I felt so strongly that I wanted to adopt him. I am saddened to learn of his passing! I am, at the same time, grateful that he was loved so much by the people who worked so hard to find him a home.
31 Jim W // Dec 8, 2008 at 9:41 pm
So Sorry to hear about Ruffus he was sweet as soon as I saw the episode I was full ready to adopt him that day and get him sent to us here in Canada. Please people if you see or know about any type of animal abuse stop it right then get their name their license number anything you can this has to stop and stop NOW!
Rest in Peace Ruffus.
Hugs Kisses
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